Allow Yourself To Break

There are few things that I find more painful (physically and emotionally) than that of heartache. Even saying the word ignites memories I have buried deep into the depths of my mind. Heartache happens to all of us at some point in our lives. It comes in the form of relationship endings, job losses, bad grades, health problems, death, the list can go on. There are no limitations to the color, shape or size of a broken heart.

I’ve learned that heartache likes to disguise itself. It can be wrapped up in a Tiffany blue box with a white, silky ribbon only to later be snatched right back. It masquerades itself as this beautiful, incredible love only to turn into loss. It’s the perfectly happy looking coworker you just talked to the other day only to read on social media he died by suicide a few days later. It’s the woman next to you at the grocery store who looks like she has it all together when in reality she’s struggling to keep her marriage together. It hides and blinds itself among all these different people and situations that most of the time we don’t see it coming.

These last two years I’ve learned a lot about my heart. I didn’t realize how incredibly fragile my heart was until I gave it away. I also didn’t know how hard it would be to mend after it was handed back to me in a million little pieces. I spent a little over a year and a half trying to mend something I didn’t know needed to break. What I’ve learned is that sometimes your heart needs to break in order to open. If I didn’t go through the heartache I went through, I’m honestly not sure I’d really know who I am. Allowing your heart to break gives you the opportunity for it to open up to love yourself. Being broken doesn’t have to be so frowned upon. It’s ok to be a little (or a lot) broken. Own your brokenness and allow it to shape you and provide a new path for you.

I don’t wish the pain and exhaustion of a broken heart on anyone, but I do believe that with heartache comes new life. Is it hard to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart and put them back together bit by bit? Absolutely, but with each unbearable heartbreak we grow a new, evolved piece. This is the piece of the puzzle we’re waiting to place in that one last spot. This piece defines how we are going to continue after the heartache has destroyed us. We tape up the old pain with the new growth. We become a little more resilient each time. I can allow my pain to overtake me, or I can choose to use the pain to grow stronger and love harder. Allow yourself to break to open up to new beginnings.