Living Alone During a Global Pandemic

Well…that is definitely not a post title I EVER thought I would be using, but alas, here we are. I am more than certain I am not the only one living alone during these hard times. At the beginning of all of this, I didn’t think much of it. I really believed everything would be fine, and this is all getting a little blown out of proportion. As the number of people affected continuously rose, businesses were ordered to shut down and entire states were put on stay-at-home orders, my feelings towards the situation became a little more anxious.

At first, I really let this entire situation take me down with it. I work in the hospitality industry, so I am constantly surrounded by people everyday. To go from interacting with humans and exerting that energy into others everyday to being trapped inside with none other than your cat (albeit a lifesaver) can really take a toll on your mental health. Don’t get me wrong, I was ecstatic to have maybe a day or two to work from the comfort of my couch, but weeks? That’s a different story. Not only did I stop interacting with others at work, but I also was no longer able to go to my gym…the one main thing that was keeping me in check mentally. I thought this would only last maybe two weeks and that I would be able to handle it, but oh how quickly did I realize I was not coping well.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but living alone during this time is HARD. I began to sink into the world of social media where I was constantly comparing myself to others once again. I felt as if all I had been doing was eating basically the entire contents of my kitchen. Instead of doing an at-home workout of some sort, I sat around letting my loneliness take over my entire being. I absolutely love living alone, but I don’t love having the freedom of being able to go anywhere taken away from me. Being trapped inside a small apartment for periods of time is a bit much for me. I let myself spiral into my depression telling myself that you’re meant to be lonely, and you’re not as pretty as those beautiful, skinny, clear-faced girls on social media doing those cute dances. My anxiety then took over with thoughts of the uncertainty of what is happening around us. I know you’re probably reading this and thinking, “Why didn’t you go outside and take a walk?” or “Why didn’t you call a friend or do something to distract yourself?”. You’re right, I probably should’ve done one of those things, but sometimes, it’s hard to get out of your head and easier to listen to the demons inside of you.

Living alone during all of this chaos isn’t easy, but whoever else needs to hear this….you are not alone. We are all trying to figure out ways to cope during this time. Although I am fortunate enough to still have my job, I don’t have as much to do at home as I would in the office. Most of my days I have been trying to rediscover my passions and my talents. I am trying to give myself more credit in this period of stillness. I don’t think I truly realized how hard I am on myself until I’ve been left alone with an ample amount of time and my thoughts. If anyone had the chance to take a quick tour of my mind, you’d discover that I am really quite mean to myself, but for what reason? I have been working for so long to love every single inch and curve of myself. I am not going to let this time of darkness and uncertainty break down everything I have fought so hard to love. I am constantly reminding myself that I am strong for living alone. I know I can get through this. I have been doing all that I can to keep my positive spirit alive and well. To those of you that feel alone in all of this, I promise you are not. I believe this is not going to last forever. Remember to be easy on yourself during these times of hardship. Remind yourself of the radiant beauty and resilient soul you were blessed with. I know this is difficult, but we are all going to make it through.