Be Brave. Be Vulnerable.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to sit down and write. It’s not because I’ve been busy (I have been) or because I have nothing to write about (I definitely do). I haven’t written because I haven’t been able to bring myself to do so. Writing has always been an escape of sorts. It has been a safe place to run when I needed to pour out my heart. I brought up my current feelings about writing with my therapist the other day and what she said really hit the nail on the head. I explained to her that it no longer felt safe and that even if I tried to write, it physically HURT to sit down and attempt to put my thoughts to paper. Simply put, she had told me I had felt invalidated. I have been so scared to be vulnerable and write from a place of authenticity and vulnerability because I had been invalidated.

Vulnerability is hard. It can be so very hard to break those walls - walls you (like myself) have probably built up very high and very sturdy. I have worked so very hard to break these walls, and to BE vulnerable, but it only takes one person, one place, one thing for those walls to be rebuilt. I asked my therapist why I have suddenly gone back into this invulnerable shell and this is exactly what she had told me. What that particular person, place, thing did to invalidate me is of no matter here. What matters is that your words are powerful. It breaks my heart that I recoiled into this shell while I continue to encourage others to feel their feelings and allow themselves to be vulnerable. Yet, here I am, hiding from my own vulnerability.

What’s the point of all of this you ask? I think the point I am trying to get across is that being vulnerable is OK. In fact, it’s more than ok, it is welcomed. The reason I’ve fought so hard (and will continue to fight) for others to share their voices, their stories, their feelings is because they need to be heard. I have my own stories, experiences, traumas that I’ve shared and some that I haven’t. Someday I will share, but for now, I will start with baby steps. It’s easy to allow others to get into your mind and invalidate your truth. I’ve been struggling with that this past year, but I want to do better and be better. I want whoever may read this to know that I welcome your vulnerability, and I welcome my own vulnerability. I will no longer allow someone to invalidate my voice and my truth. I have fought for my life to be able to share my truths. I have the power to share my voice where others never got the chance. Vulnerability is not weak. It is not frowned upon, and it is not something to be ashamed of. Share you vulnerable. Shout your truth. Be brave. Be vulnerable.